Therapy implies vulnerability, and for many, the unknown. That’s an intimidating combination!
So, lets break it down as simply as possible.
Couples counseling with me follows this approach:
Goal; Help my clients understand and accept each other more.
First, we identify each person’s DEEP Profile:
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eg. introverted versus extroverted, different values, different hobbies, etc
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eg. hurts from previous relationships, attachment wounds from growing up, a traumatic experiences that affects the relationship, etc
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eg. work, parenting, financial stress, being marginalized, etc
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eg. wanting to process on your own, wanting to process together, yelling, shutting down, etc
After we’ve mapped out your DEEP Profiles, we will get into the active phase of treatment.
The Active Phase of Couples Therapy may include:
Practicing communication skills
Watching approach/withdraw patterns
Does one person usually initiate discussion? Does one person usually end it or want to leave?
Setting a time a place to talk about stuff in advance.
Focusing on how an incident made each of you feel, rather than attacking or assigning blame.
Using/ practicing listening skills so both partners feel understood.
Then, I will likely encourage the couple to plan more quality time together as well as more positive experiences separately.
This method also absolutely works for people in other forms of important relationships, such as a parent and child, roommates, or best friends!
A couples therapist supports you through this exploration and towards a more understanding and accepting relationship. If this sounds helpful, reach out to Hanna Conn, LAMFT at Danielson Therapy Group!
Written by Hanna Conn, LAMFT
Hanna loves working with couples at any stage of their relationship - dating, marriage, domestic partnership - in the first months or decades!
